How to Fail as an Artist, Painterly Edition 2

So we have already established that painting is dead. What, then, is a painter to do?

The answer, it turns out, is remarkably simple. If painting is dead then you must revive it by painting in a way that no one else has.

Although the answer is simple, finding a method of painting that no one has ever used before is pretty hard when you consider what has already been done.

Pollack hired some models to roll around covered in paint in front of a watching group of the wealthy and well known. Painting with models took on a whole new meaning, and I kinda wish I had a picture ^^

People with physical disabilities have been painting with their toes and mouths for years, so that's out.

In the 90's some people started painting with their asses (see photo). That was amusing enough to make it on to MTV if I recall.

Someone also made a splash by painting with poo, but I have to burst their bubble - poo was tried in paint going back to cavemen. Tre passe. And forget Pee - you don't want to copy Warhol.

One of the most interesting recent innovations is a Chinese painter who uses the fiery stuff they put in fireworks to paint with. I haven't been able to find video of it yet, but if you go through Art 21's youtube channel, you might find it and will definitely see something interesting: http://www.youtube.com/user/art21org

SO, if you just toss out all the normal methods and some of these more outlandish ones, you get a good base to start creating your very own patented painting method. What will you try? You could cover yourself in tin foil, call down the aliens, and start painting with planets. You might find a way to alter local water supplies so that you can turn people different colors (evil genius cackle can be inserted at any point there.)

Whatever you do, do it fast - or someone else will do it first and you be back to square one. Because painting is dead, and the only way to be a painter today is to do something completely different and call it a painting.